Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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