You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
