Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
