Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
