is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
