In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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