I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
