and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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