She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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