i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Text me some of your sweat
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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