I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
