I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
barbara walters just said penis...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
