even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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