nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
