you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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