Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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