I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
