I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
