he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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