he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
