He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
