he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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