I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
