do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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