I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
