Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
