I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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