Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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