I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He kissed a someone with a penis
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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