Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
