He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
