These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
