What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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