Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
