Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
