i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
