when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
