elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
