I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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