I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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