Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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