if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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