So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i now understand why vodka
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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