i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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