theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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