How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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