So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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