You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
