Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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