if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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