hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
