it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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